Fury
Spinning out of control
Leaving behind a smoldering trail of ashes
Bitter tears,
Burning buildings,
The smell of rotting flesh.
Fury
Showing like fresh cuts on marble skin.
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
So red-eyed, so confused,
So lost in the crowd of shiny and bright.
Fury
Conducting the deafening chorus of silence
Letting nothing drive him insane.
Letting the nothing drive him insane.
Fury.
Spinning.
Abandoning everything.
Regaining the long ago lost sense of
Control.
Some days are simply awful,
But each day is brand new.
Remind myself the world still turns,
The skies are still bright blue.
Look into my eyes,
Roll up the end of my sleeve.
When you see me wash my hands,
You'll see the way I grieve.
Scars of every shape and size
Are my faithful reminders,
That life could be so much more cruel,
And tomorrow will be kinder.
Some days I want to tear my skin
Just to see the blood.
Sometimes we all want to watch our tears
Come rushing in a flood.
Bit your lip,
Wipe your eyes,
To the sad feelings,
Say your goodbyes.
I can't belittle your problems,
Or tell you to suck it up and deal,
But just remember to keep
And when the bed bugs bite, what will you do, my dear?
When the thunderstorms come R O L L I N G in;
With them come dark gray clouds of an ignominious past and a caliginous future.
Will you stop time? Pause?
But I can't pause time and you can't it can't be done.
Pause and rewind before the destruction.
Unmask, unmask! come the cries of the host.
Unmask!
Abandon the facade, open your eyes.
Princess. Open their eyes.
Pray, open their eyes with sheer force.
Take my fork.
Here! I broke a glass last night.
The butcher's got some knives too dull for meat.
Open their eyes. Stop the clock. Rewind the storm. Go back.
The shiny black counter of the modern New York apartment was covered in pink frosted cupcakes. Flowers stacked a mile high on the kitchen table. A young woman, looking barely into her twenties, walked out of the living room and sighed. Her roommate, who was choosing a cupcake, exchanged a glance with her. At 26, the woman had already been married and divorced. Her ex-husband was a whack-job and the plethora of pink and red in her kitchen clearly showed it.
Moving over to the answering machine, the woman pressed for new messages. She was almost afraid of what would await her. 5 new messages. 5 new messages that got loopier and loopier the more
Trust me. I'm here for you.
I would never betray you. You
are my best friend. You're
always there for me. Why
would it be any different when
it's you that is on the other
side of the rock? Tell me your
secrets. I won't say anything
to anyone, I swear. I swear on
the bloody cross that really
has no
Noise. Empty white noise.
Reverberating so-o-o-ounds
BOUNCE
bounce
b o u n c e
Off the dirty white white walls.
Closing in around you
Suffocate, suffocate.
Smells like medicine, tastes like blood and sweat, gas chamber whispers-
Choke, choke.
Die
Click.
Click.
Click.
Heels trail in. Draaag to a stop.
Survey the feet.
Ugly. Hairy
Warted.
Witch feet.
Move up. Stare at the netted stockings;
Unflattering to stocky legs.
Lumpy long skirt, lumpy black shirt.
Bulging cheek bags, sagging jaw lines.
Lips. Cracked, dried, smeared-with-disgusting-color lips.
Pink tongue runs over them. Lip-gloss eater.
Parting li
Once Upon A Time, there was a beautiful princess in a land far, far away.
Far, far, in the land devoid of pain.
One day, her kingdom was attacked by dragons
Monsters are real, my dear. Keep your eyes opened. Always, always opened.
The princess, with hard work, tamed the dragons to be her pets, thus making her subjects safe again
Cage the monster, but who can stop it?
Every day, the dragons took the villagers into town, and townspeople into the villages. Everyone was kind to one another, and the kingdom was smitten.
It's the Oncoming Storm. Watch out, sweetheart. You know what happens next.
The dragons, however, were secretly plotting.
January. Your eyes are hollow, your stare is steely, your face is pale as snow. You don't laugh at my jokes anymore. You hardly ever smile. You're still tough as ever, and you still make the greatest grades, but you know I can see. I can see your shell slowly crumbling. But it's not just a shell, is it? Because that's all you're made of, anymore. You're hollow. When your shell is gone, you are gone.
February. Euphoria, depression, euphoria, depression. The medicine makes me see pretty colors. My head burns, my heart hurts, or is the other way around? She's still watching me. Her eyes are the shiniest blue, her lips the most vibrant red. Tick
Hickory Dickory Dock.
The girl who stopped the clock.
The clock struck one,
The girl jumped down,
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Police here on the dot.
The clock struck two,
And out they flew,
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Hickory Dickory Dock.
The parents will not talk.
The clock struck three,
And look, she's free,
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Oh, lines that've been crossed.
The clock struck four,
They slammed their doors,
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Hickory Dickory Dock.
What fools they've come across.
The clock struck five,
They do a jive,
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Hickory Dickory Dock.
The brat has cut
Fury
Spinning out of control
Leaving behind a smoldering trail of ashes
Bitter tears,
Burning buildings,
The smell of rotting flesh.
Fury
Showing like fresh cuts on marble skin.
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
So red-eyed, so confused,
So lost in the crowd of shiny and bright.
Fury
Conducting the deafening chorus of silence
Letting nothing drive him insane.
Letting the nothing drive him insane.
Fury.
Spinning.
Abandoning everything.
Regaining the long ago lost sense of
Control.
Some days are simply awful,
But each day is brand new.
Remind myself the world still turns,
The skies are still bright blue.
Look into my eyes,
Roll up the end of my sleeve.
When you see me wash my hands,
You'll see the way I grieve.
Scars of every shape and size
Are my faithful reminders,
That life could be so much more cruel,
And tomorrow will be kinder.
Some days I want to tear my skin
Just to see the blood.
Sometimes we all want to watch our tears
Come rushing in a flood.
Bit your lip,
Wipe your eyes,
To the sad feelings,
Say your goodbyes.
I can't belittle your problems,
Or tell you to suck it up and deal,
But just remember to keep
And when the bed bugs bite, what will you do, my dear?
When the thunderstorms come R O L L I N G in;
With them come dark gray clouds of an ignominious past and a caliginous future.
Will you stop time? Pause?
But I can't pause time and you can't it can't be done.
Pause and rewind before the destruction.
Unmask, unmask! come the cries of the host.
Unmask!
Abandon the facade, open your eyes.
Princess. Open their eyes.
Pray, open their eyes with sheer force.
Take my fork.
Here! I broke a glass last night.
The butcher's got some knives too dull for meat.
Open their eyes. Stop the clock. Rewind the storm. Go back.
The shiny black counter of the modern New York apartment was covered in pink frosted cupcakes. Flowers stacked a mile high on the kitchen table. A young woman, looking barely into her twenties, walked out of the living room and sighed. Her roommate, who was choosing a cupcake, exchanged a glance with her. At 26, the woman had already been married and divorced. Her ex-husband was a whack-job and the plethora of pink and red in her kitchen clearly showed it.
Moving over to the answering machine, the woman pressed for new messages. She was almost afraid of what would await her. 5 new messages. 5 new messages that got loopier and loopier the more
Trust me. I'm here for you.
I would never betray you. You
are my best friend. You're
always there for me. Why
would it be any different when
it's you that is on the other
side of the rock? Tell me your
secrets. I won't say anything
to anyone, I swear. I swear on
the bloody cross that really
has no
Noise. Empty white noise.
Reverberating so-o-o-ounds
BOUNCE
bounce
b o u n c e
Off the dirty white white walls.
Closing in around you
Suffocate, suffocate.
Smells like medicine, tastes like blood and sweat, gas chamber whispers-
Choke, choke.
Die
Click.
Click.
Click.
Heels trail in. Draaag to a stop.
Survey the feet.
Ugly. Hairy
Warted.
Witch feet.
Move up. Stare at the netted stockings;
Unflattering to stocky legs.
Lumpy long skirt, lumpy black shirt.
Bulging cheek bags, sagging jaw lines.
Lips. Cracked, dried, smeared-with-disgusting-color lips.
Pink tongue runs over them. Lip-gloss eater.
Parting li
Once Upon A Time, there was a beautiful princess in a land far, far away.
Far, far, in the land devoid of pain.
One day, her kingdom was attacked by dragons
Monsters are real, my dear. Keep your eyes opened. Always, always opened.
The princess, with hard work, tamed the dragons to be her pets, thus making her subjects safe again
Cage the monster, but who can stop it?
Every day, the dragons took the villagers into town, and townspeople into the villages. Everyone was kind to one another, and the kingdom was smitten.
It's the Oncoming Storm. Watch out, sweetheart. You know what happens next.
The dragons, however, were secretly plotting.
January. Your eyes are hollow, your stare is steely, your face is pale as snow. You don't laugh at my jokes anymore. You hardly ever smile. You're still tough as ever, and you still make the greatest grades, but you know I can see. I can see your shell slowly crumbling. But it's not just a shell, is it? Because that's all you're made of, anymore. You're hollow. When your shell is gone, you are gone.
February. Euphoria, depression, euphoria, depression. The medicine makes me see pretty colors. My head burns, my heart hurts, or is the other way around? She's still watching me. Her eyes are the shiniest blue, her lips the most vibrant red. Tick
Hickory Dickory Dock.
The girl who stopped the clock.
The clock struck one,
The girl jumped down,
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Police here on the dot.
The clock struck two,
And out they flew,
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Hickory Dickory Dock.
The parents will not talk.
The clock struck three,
And look, she's free,
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Oh, lines that've been crossed.
The clock struck four,
They slammed their doors,
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Hickory Dickory Dock.
What fools they've come across.
The clock struck five,
They do a jive,
Hickory Dickory Dock.
Hickory Dickory Dock.
The brat has cut
"Hate. It's a word common among this world. Teenagers complaining that they hate this type of music or that person who only a week before had been a close friend. Hate is thrown around like a hot potato. Has anyone ever stopped to think about what hate really is? Has no one felt the stab of pain when a peer says, "I hate you," even knowing that their friend is joking? Has the word lost all meaning or has it been adapted for a certain purpose at a certain time? Is the boy crying wolf when he tells his sister that he hates her but not when he says the same about a true belief of dislike?"
Alex paused in her reading. She looked at the page, tea
"are you okay?"
"i'm the ocean."
"the ocean ?"
"no one ever asks if the ocean is 'okay.' her answer, her whisper, is never loud enough for them, never good enough for them. they just watch her rise and fall, push and pull. there is no 'okay.'"
"but i-"
"she's always death and birth, destruction and creation, killer tides and calm waters. the ocean is everything, all the time, all extremes black and white and every color in between. there's never an 'okay,' so why bother?"
"i can hear you just fine, love."
"no, you can't."
"you are not the ocean."
"i am."
"you are small, and the ocean is big. you are alive, and
It's been at least two months since I've self injured. Not sure to the day because I didn't sit down and decide, today will be the last time.
I still love dark music. I still love the sight of fire and blood. I still write things that could probably come from the mouth of the devil himself. From time to time, I still snap rubber bands, scratch myself, or hold my arms extremely close to the exhaust fan that's expelling heat from my computer. But what was I thinking when I took it to the point where I'd slice myself open just to feel alive?
I'm done with that. It's time to clean up the mess I've made. I'm done. I can do this.
I was told this today by a friend:
"Jesus is god's only son right? Supposedly.
But we are all god's children. Supposedly.
Therefore, we are all women. Supposedly.
Therefore, we are all gay. Supposedly.
God hates gays. Supposedly.
God hates us.
^^^ Atheist Math"
And I must say, I laughed very, very hard. Not sure how accurate it is Bible-wise, but the message is pretty clear. I like it. XD
[ ] You know how to make a pot of coffee.
[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar.
[ ] You own a credit card.
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car.
[x] You've done your own laundry.
[ ] You can vote in an election.
[x] You can cook for yourself.
[ ] You think politics are interesting.
TOTAL SO FAR: 3
[ ] You show up for school late a lot.
[x] You always carry a pen/pencil in your bag/purse/pocket.
[x] You've never gotten a detention.
[x] You have forgotten your own birthday.
[x] You like to take walks by yourself.
[x] You know what credibility means, without looking it up.
[ ] You drink caffeine at least once a week